I’ve been reading a lot more poetry recently. I used to digest it endlessly in my teens and I went through a phase of also writing it whenever I had a spare moment. I wrote so much that for a long time I thought I’d exhausted my poetic thoughts. It wasn’t until a couple of months ago that poetry came back into my life and it couldn’t have come at a better time.
Yesterday, my friend handed a USB stick back to me that I hadn’t seen in over two years. What later occurred was a couple of hours spent traipsing through the old files, which included a large chunk of my poetic works from the ages of 16-20. I looked back on everything I’d written then and so much of the anger and pain I’d felt then came flooding right back. This blog has become a place to store all of these thoughts and I think it’s only natural that I share the first poem I’ve written in probably 3-4 years on here with you.
All I ask is that you please be kind to this lost soul.
I’m snapping back vicious tears
thinking about what could have
would have been
but was stolen away from me
What you took can’t be replaced
and now I’m hunting for something
anything to fill the gap you’ve left behind
cementing it with sand and water
The defeated thumping against my ribcage
is unchanging not for shock
or fall or fancy
I’m drowning in the metronomic noise
I’m coughing up the gravel
the taste of you on my tongue remained
turned bitter in my thoughts
your excuses like grit between my teeth
I’m stifling the mournful floods
thinking about how I should have
must have known
but I chose not to look