Pushing Through Doubt

Some days, writing seems so easy and the feeling of having something to say carries you through the tiredest moments. These days are ones I struggle with, when I can’t seem to locate my motivation, either through sheer lack of energy or the constant fear of not being good enough or worth reading.

Self-doubt is one of the biggest factors in not meeting your full potential, simply because you can’t fathom what that potential is or don’t see it as something within reach. I think a lot of creative people probably struggle with this. We like to consider ourselves as these agonised beings, struggling through sufferance. When often we can be our own biggest problem. Some things I’ve tried to try and push past these thoughts of fear or doubt:

  • Removing myself from the environment – going for a shower, run or even just moving to a different space.
  • Collaboration – talking things through with people can help reassure
  • Positive reinforcement – combining a known strength with something you’re less sure about and hopefully reinforce a positive attitude
  • Making mistakes – sometimes the only way to learn is to try

Today, I struggled with what to write about. Tomorrow, I might look back and just think this is a load of waffle. But the important thing right now is that I stuck to a commitment of blogging regularly.

Tomorrow I’m taking a trip to the hospital before work, so I might introduce you all to my health issues and how I deal with them on a daily basis.

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You can take the girl out of Hull…

When did you shift from being home to ‘my parents’ house’? When did my room become the spare room; my keys, the spare set? The sheets are dusty with my four-month-old aroma. When I walk through the door, the hardened exterior that weighs on my shoulders cascades to the ground and I can breathe in the familiarity.

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Email Bankruptcy; among other things…

Email bankruptcy is a term that I’d never heard of until earlier this week when a friend of mine did exactly this. She deleted all emails past a certain date and then went through and deleted or sorted the rest of them.

Part of getting back into the swing of things, naturally means getting organised. There’s so many things that I’ve been procrastinating and putting off for silly  (and quite frankly lazy) reasons. I won’t bother to bore you with the minutiae of why, but I thought it might be a good exercise for myself to list some of the things I want to start doing. Partially to improve my self-care but also so I can start endeavouring to be happier in my own time.

This starts, ever so blandly, with sorting out my email inbox. The way I communicate is solely digital, so to have 13,655 unread emails in my inbox, it’s quite a harrowing task to have to go through all of them. But, let me tell you, there’s nothing quite like that feeling of self-satisfaction when you sit back and look at the blank screen.

 

It seem daft to think that something so small could make this much of an impact on my life but I’m hoping that this will kick start a more proactive approach to the way I communicate and that this will continue to barrel roll into other aspects of my life.

What this really all boils down to is habits. Building something into my routine that I otherwise wouldn’t give the time of day. I need to practice better habits in the hope of taking better care of myself. I learnt the hard way that you really can only rely on yourself to strive and push yourself to be your best self. No one is going to come and do that for you.

It’s time to stop sitting at the sidelines of my own life and take control.

I’m very conscious that deleting a few emails does not a change of life direction make and that this probably sounds a little ridiculous. But this is the catalyst to a more proactive attitude to making this happen.

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A Year in Review: 2016

A Year in Review 2016

There was a lot to be sad about and to mourn over in 2016. We lost many brilliant sparks and the political culmination of Brexit and the Presidential Election this year has left us wan with disappointment. So, instead of focusing on all the ways that 2016 was a collective disappointment, I want to take one last look back over the small victories and happenings in my personal life that made 2016 enjoyable!

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World Book Night and Shakespeare Saturday

World Book Night and Shakespeare Saturday

This weekend I was lucky enough to see some brilliant authors talk on a panel about their experiences with reading. World Book Night has for the past few years been somewhat of a detached experience for me, I collected my books and gave them out but never really had the chance to engage in other people’s thoughts on the giving of books or reading as a whole. Being in London has given me the chance to start exploring a communal view to reading and writing.

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