It’s been some seriously unexpected shitty months.
I’ve honestly forgotten how to do this. I’ve sat down at my computer several times and I can’t begin to figure out how to start.
I can’t really move forward with blogging or even having a proper presence before I talk about it, because it would feel disingenuous to sweep everything that’s happened, since my last post, under the rug.
Since we last spoke, in mid-January – damn it’s been a really long break – I discovered something that led to the dissolution of my relationship and I for a couple of months my life was tipped on its head. I don’t intend to go so much into the details of what happened but it’s safe to say my confidence has taken a massive knock.
But from the ashes, a phoenix shall rise. (Yes I would love to optimistically think of myself as a phoenix)
I have found a brilliant home in my new house and have been truly looked after by my wonderful new housemates and friends. If nothing else, I am so grateful to everyone who took the time to give me a wide birth, listened to me at all hours and helped me to keep on truckin’ during my epic sad. I feel very lucky to have such a wide ranging set of friends, geographically and in personality. You all know who you are and I love y’all with every fibre. <3
Some other things that have really made a difference to keeping me a float (aside from the vino):
- Yoga: I have started Yoga and I’m loving it. I was recommended the app, Down Dog. Poor name, but brilliant for beginners! It has levels of difficulty, type of yoga (restorative, quick flow and full practice) and will build the exercises around the length of time you have to spend.
- Exploring: I’ve visited more areas of London in the past month trying to get the lay of the land around my new house. Brunching is a new favourite!
- Walking: When I lived at home and university, I walked places a lot more. When I graduated I spent a lot of time driving or commuting. Moving closer to the centre of London meant that I could start walking to work and on the weekends. It’s amazing the difference a few steps here and there has made.
- Meditation: I’ve really taken the time to start investing in my mental health again. I recently started using Headspace alongside my Bellabeat app and between the two of them there are plenty of exercises to suit your mood.
- Music: during a break up, music can really make or break my moods. I’ve really been loving Sia, she’s a musical goddess, and Ed Sheeran’s latest album.
You might notice that books are not on this list. Something that I’ve noticed during extended periods of sadness is that I actually distance myself from books and from reading, which is exactly why I am seriously failing at my Goodreads challenge this year. I really hope that during the latter half of the year I can sort this out and get back on track. One of the things I’ve missed over the past few months is sharing my thoughts on reading with you all, but another thing is that I’ve realised this blog isn’t just a place for discussing books and reading any more. It’s also a reflection of how I feel and I think I need to start listening to myself a little bit more.
Until next time.